Research Based Tips on How to Be Happy

Research based tips on how to be happy

This blog post really is just a passion of mine that happens to intersect with the work that I do with clients. Nobody comes to therapy wanting to be LESS happy. We are all in search of this “pursuit of happiness” and lucky for us there are researchers who have evidence based findings that we can follow to improve our wellbeing. 

Did you know that happiness is…

40% genetically inherited from ancestors

10% circumstances

50% our habits and mindset

We have wayyyy more control over our happiness than we like to think. This is empowering because you might not have control over your genetic set point, but you do have control over your habits and mindset. 

If you want to get an idea of where your happiness set point is at the moment I recommend taking the Oxford Happiness Survey, this will give you a rating of 1-6. 

 

Things we think will make us happy that don’t:

  • Having a high paying job
  • Having a lot of money
  • Technological and societal advancements (we are no happier on average today than 40 years ago)
  • Cars, material possessions, true love, perfect body, perfect grades
  • Through “hedonic adaptation”, these things make us happy only briefly before we either start comparing to others again and/or move onto the next thing we think will make us happier

Other insights into happiness:

  • Our minds strongest intuitions about how much we will like something and how happy it will make us (OR how unhappy it will make us) are often wrong.
  • Our minds don’t think in terms of absolutes – we judge relative to reference points (e.g., my house is nice but not as nice as the neighbors’).
  • We don’t  realize that our minds are built to get used to things (i.e. hedonic adaptation).
  • We think money will make us happier, but research shows that after 75k a year happiness drops off.
  • You need some anxiety to be happy because some anxiety is going to help us make quality choices.
  • Happiness is making consistent high-quality decisions.
  • Having clearly defined goals, values and purpose makes us happier.
  • Gratitude practice helps us savor what he already have.
  • Flow state is where we are happiest.
  • Humans are the ultimate dopamine seekers because when we get a hit our body balances it and then we have dopamine free fall, so we will always stay seeking. 
  • Happiness peaks around 2-5 hours of free time per day. 

 

Things that actually make us happy:

  • rethink what “awesome stuff” is
  • invest in experiences over things
  • thwart your hedonic adaptation
  • savor enjoyable moments; take a second  to really be there and enjoy it
  • use negative visualization (“what if I didn’t have this awesome thing?”)
  • think as if today was your last day to increase gratitude (esp. in terms of jobs)
  • practice gratitude daily
  • reset your reference points (i.e., what are you comparing your life/stuff to?)
  • interrupt consumption (take a break from a good movie or fun thing; it will make you appreciate coming back to it more – commercial breaks actually increase enjoyment of shows)
  • signature strengths in a job > money
  • “flow” in a job > money
  • growth mindset > fixed mindset
  • practicing kindness
  • social connection (even when you think it will not make you happy!!!)
  • time affluence > money (value your [free] time more than money)
  • mindfulness via meditation
  • exercise
  • good sleep

Implementation

  • use situational support (e.g., putting candy in a drawer instead of on your desk will make you less likely to eat it; set yourself up for success)
  • set specific goals
  • practice goal implementation intentions (i.e. If it is this time in this place, I will do this behavior)